This post is dedicated to those who broke my heart, those who left while I was trying to piece it back together and to one person who taught me I am worthy and makes me feel like bonafide badass.
I don’t believe that I have met anyone by accident. I adore most people and anytime I meet someone new, no matter how the relationship unveils, I go into every relationship knowing I am going to learn something new. A recent relationship has taught me to accept that I am capable of anything I want to do with my life.
I have goals, and being optimistic, I always told myself I could achieve it, even when I didn’t truly believe it. It was always so simple to rely on “I’m faking it until I make it” whenever someone would ask about what I was doing, but I didn’t realize how much self doubt I was harnessing until someone started asking not WHAT I wanted to achieve, but HOW I was going to do it. For the first time, instead of relying on hope and diverting the conversation, I had to actually have a solid plan of how I was going to execute anything.
I will be the first to admit that I am my own worst enemy. I have walls built so high that I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to take the time to wait for me to tear them down. I didn’t realize how negative this was until I became comfortable enough with someone and opened up to everything I was so good at avoiding. As a result of my past, I shut myself out more than I ever should have, and it caused me to really doubt myself in most circumstances like my career, goals and other relationships. But, letting someone in and hearing how capable someone who essentially was a stranger perceived me has changed my outlook of myself, which is more than I can ever thank them for.
This past month, I have established actual goals, not just outlines, but most importantly, I am finally allowing myself to be the confident badass I never accepted. I always say I do not care what others think of me, and most of the time, that is true, but I can’t even begin to describe how fortunate I am for someone telling me how capable I am of anything. For the first time, I am also so happy for all of my past experiences that shaped my outlook on everything. I discovered that not only do I feel every single emotion too much at times, but I have learned that it is fine to allow someone in even when you feel vulnerable. It is fine to feel scared about something new. Most importantly, it is fine to feel like a badass and accept that you can do anything.
I started today with confidence and wearing crop tops again. Not only has been perfect weather in Nashville, but if you feel confident in a piece of clothing, do yourself a favor and wear it. I’ve never felt more ready to take on the world. Of course, I am still faking a lot of it, but for the first time I have no doubts of achieving anything.
Steal my look today: Black Jeans: Forever 21, Striped Crop Top: Forever 21, Fringe Booties: Charlotte Russe.